Diversity affirms that each contributes to the marriage in a
different way, and equality affirms the need for both to be
responsible for the relationship. But these two principles alone do
not guarantee unity. As Wangerin says:
"'One' may mean "We have a fifty-fifty marriage, half and half. But mutuality is accomplished by two whole persons; and if each partner truly intends to be but the fraction of a relationship (thinking My whole makes up a half of us) he or she will soon discover that these halves do not fit perfectly together. The mathematics can only work only if each subtracts something of himself or herself, shears it off, and lays it aside forever...."
"So which parts are to be cut off? Who decides? This turns marriage into a Procrustean bed, where those too big are cut to fit.... "Fifty-fifty means that we take turns at deciding things." But sin destroys such sharing. And I repeat: mutuality must acknowledge the wholeness of both partners."
Walter Wangerin, Jr., As for Me and My House, Th. Nelson, 1990.